Pumkin Carving

We carved our pumpkins! We still have some little ones left in the garden, which is a good thing since we carved these ones so early. They are already getting spots. I don't think they're going to make it to Halloween. They turned out pretty well though, mostly thanks to Scott's secret amazing pumpkin carving. He's go some serious skills. Clyde wanted Chinese writing on his pumpkin for some reason. We tried our best, but it didn't turn out great. That pumpkin is going on the back porch for sure. jk We called my little brother Preston (he speaks Chinese) to confirm and we found out that Clyde can say pumpkin in Chinese. Pretty cool. Henry just wanted a scary face. He's totally in to 'scary' Halloween this year. You'll see when I post their Halloween Costume pictures. I am glad though that I can finally put my theatre stage make-up skills to good use. That degree was totally worth it.

A 3 C-Free Anniversary

Today is a monumental day for me. It’s not a holiday and it’s not my birthday. In fact, it’s a day of very little consequence to anyone but me. It’s my cancer-free anniversary. I have officially been thyroid-free and cancer-free for three years.

My journey with cancer began in early September 2009 after Dr. Hall, my gynecologist in Idaho, did a routine neck check and found a ‘nodule’ on my thyroid. He encouraged me to visit a specialist and he had his secretary schedule an appointment with an endocrinologist in the area. I left his office and immediately cancelled the appointment, thinking that it was a waste of time and money to visit a specialist on a whim - especially since I felt completely fine and had no symptoms that indicated that anything was wrong with my thyroid. Even my blood work was perfect.

Two weeks later I received the strangest call directly from Dr. Hall. He asked me if I had gone to the appointment he had scheduled and when I told him I had not, he urged me once again to see a specialist. I remember thinking, “What is with this guy? Why is he badgering me so much about this?” I remember asking him if a little nodule was something to be seriously concerned about. He said that most women had nodules on their thyroids, but that he had a ‘feeling’ about this one and felt strongly that I should go to see an endocrinologist, just in case. I relented and was transferred to the same secretary who made a second appointment for me. This time, I went.

I only saw the endocrinologist for about ten minutes. He sent me immediately to a nearby hospital to have an ultrasound done on my neck. I only saw the ultrasound tech for about ten minutes before he suggested I have a biopsy done. I knew I was in trouble when the medical professionals around me began to refer to my ‘nodule’ as a ‘mass’.

That night my endocrinologist called me at 8:30 p.m. I already knew it was cancer before he had even said hello. Why else would a doctor call so late if not to deliver bad news? I can’t remember very well what I felt in that moment - mostly shock and fear, and Scott’s arms around me. My surgery was scheduled the next day and my 6 cm follicular cancerous mass and what remained of my thyroid, (plus four lymph nodes), were gone by the weekend.

What followed were twelve weeks of the worst diet known to mankind aka the iodine-free diet, lots of jugs of pee (gross but true), one large dose of radioactive iodine, and ten of the longest days I have ever lived, radioactive, and completely alone. 

I have since had two additional rounds of iodine-free diets, thyrogen shots, radiation treatments, and of course, scanning, scanning, and more scanning. It was hard, and its probably not over, but I'm still here and I plan to be here long enough to grow wrinkly skin around my scars and shake my cane at young ruffians.

I once heard the quote, "Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." This is a pretty accurate summation of what I learned from cancer. That you can build a life of positivity and faith that is strong enough to withstand any fear. It just depends on where you want to focus your energy. 

I owe a lot of people love and acknowledgement for helping me through the worst parts of this journey. First and foremost, my husband Scott, and my children Henry and Clyde. Thanks for giving me the greatest reasons in eternity to fight on. My Mom and Dad for all their love, generosity, and support. My in-laws for helping so much with the boys when I was radiated. My sister Katie for making me laugh and listening to me complain without ever hanging-up. My brothers, who made it okay to joke about the 'Big C'. My Grandma Elaine, for always telling me I'm stronger than I think I am. My amazingly talented cousin Sharee, who distracted me with country ballads. My oldest and most wonderful friend Stephanie who gave me lots of good iodine-free food ideas and jokes about broccoli slaw. My bestie Natasha Rowley, one of the hardest workers I know, thanks for pulling double duty when I didn't feel well. Dr. Hall, you saved my life - I'll always be grateful to you for following your instincts. THYCA - for all of the accessible info, and of course, the iodine-free cookbook. 

I love you all. Thank you so much. If anyone deserves to celebrate this day with me, its all of you. Especially because you had to live with me and my wild hormone levels. Here's to three years of cancer-free living, and hope for three and thirty more. 

Sorry this is the longest post ever. 

and... oh yeah, get your neck checked. No seriously.